Friday 12th February

 

It's been scorching today as we sail north west up through the Caribbean, and we'll shortly be passing between Cuba and Haiti.

 

The sun has been so vicious that we abandoned the sun deck at 1-ish and haven't returned. Instead we accepted our formal invitation (yet another benefit of Concierge Class) to a 'VIP's Elegant Tea' in the main restaurant. With hindsight we might not have bothered, as it

was a touch too formal to be massively enjoyable, and most of the delicacies on offer would have been available in the self-service buffet restaurants on the top deck. We've now (5pm) retreated to our stateroom with a selection of self-selected biscuits, pastries etc. and a mug of English Breakfast Tea each, having forgotten that we'd find our usual canapes waiting for us - oink, oink! ;o)

 

I haven't seen Dolores in the Pasticceria today, but yesterday when she was serving me with a couple of 'cookies' she confided conspiratorially that earlier that afternoon, with only one cookie available on display, two passengers had come to blows over who should have it and the cookie had been thrown across the ship! I asked, cheekily, "Were they Americans?" but she put her finger to her lips having seen two other customers waiting to be served. I took that as confirmation and grinned. But, to be fair, this has been a very calm and relaxing cruise, with virtually no negatives at all.

 

Gill and I have been talking about our impressions of the ports of call. Some of them offered little in terms of conventional tourist attractions, but you'd have to say that they make the most of what they have. The bits that really count are the beauty of these tropical islands, the cheerfulness and friendliness of the locals and the gorgeous weather.

 

The ship is stunning, even though it's eight years old and has quite a few miles on the clock. It's kept spotlessly clean in absolutely all locations, the cabin has been perfect, with a deliciously comfortable bed, a choice of four grades of pillow and towels and face cloths changed twice a day. The theatre can seat 900 people and even has a balcony - frankly, it's equipped to West End standard. We've heard that in April the Constellation's going into dock for three weeks for an overhaul of the staterooms and dining areas, so good though it is now it'll probably get even better.

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Our dinner companions
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Our waiters
Back in Miami

The main evening entertainment on cruise ships is always a bit hit and miss, depending on which nationality it's aimed at. On Italian ships you notice that they have an odd, even childlike, sense of humour and American ships seem to cater only to their own nationals on the basis that their culture will surely be good enough for everyone else. On this cruise there's been a homophobic, ageist, sexist magician - that wasn't his billing, by the way - and, lamentably, large sections of the audience clearly loved his material. There was a pleasant

enough impressionist who could only manage impressions of American stars, most of whom we hadn't heard of so couldn't judge how good he was.

 

But there have been a couple of genuinely good acts. There was an earnest young American musician called David Mayer who plays what he calls a 'Xylosynth' - pretty much an electronic xylophone. His instrument limits his range, but he played a selection of music including classical in electrifying style - his hands were a blur. Also, there's been a young Canadian vocal impressionist called Karen Granger, who had the sense to feature internationally-known singers and thereby also appeal to nationalities in the audience other than Americans.

 

These appear on one or two nights during the fortnight, but there are other musicians performing every day, and in the main they're stunningly good. There's been an excellent string quartet with its own devotees, a guitarist who seems to be able to effortlessly imitate James Taylor, John Denver and others, and a pianist who plays easy listening material right through the evening and into the night. And for those who like that sort of thing there's an A Capella quartet of young lads who pop up in itinerant fashion around the ship, even when you think you're safely out of their way, and a Country & Western quartet that's easier to avoid as they're always in the same bar ;o)

 

But, best of all, you can pick and choose what suits you, from music to language classes to films shown in the little cinema to quizzes and lectures. On the Azamara Quest last August we attended two lectures, one on the history and mosaics of Ravenna, which we were about to visit, and another on the life and works of Caravaggio.

 

So, two more nights on board, and one more relaxing day at sea before the long traipse home overnight on Sunday/Monday. And, having bored you all with daily e-mail updates, we won't need to do it again when we see you all in the next week or so :o)
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